15-08-09(16:42:10)

Hi
I’m not sure if anyone’s gonna read this but I think it would still feel better to write something about it.
Me and a friend became involved with different drugs when we were 15(I’m 19 now) and it was great smoking and trying different things with friends. After high school me and this friend became roommates and started trying different things when we could get ahold of it.
A few months back my friend comes home while I’m sitting at the tv. He throws a brown small bag on the table infront of me. I ask what it is and he says that he has managed to get some heroin. We have pushed each other in a frindly manner before to try things like cocaine, methodrone(or something) and various pills that our connections said would f*** us up. He also carries written instructions on how to shoot it + 2 syringes. I’m hesitant at first but he’s so fired up and says that if I don’t do it he’ll do it alone. So I say ok we’ll try it and later that night we read the instructions over and over until we can follow them without any written instructions. We then shoot it and omg not to try and seduce anyone to trying but the rush was so…lifting and we start to laugh at each other a few times. My friend says that he’s got an idea and goes to his room. After he comes back we go out, this is pretty late at night. We walk around and we are feeling great but a little woozy. We then see a guy who’s apparently walking home and my friend pulls up a pistol. Which was the thing he got from his room. He says that we should rob the guy. I agree since I’m not really spending muuch thought on the consequences. He gives me the gun and than speaks loud enough so the man can hear “ey,you!wait up!”
He aproaches tha man and I’m taging along behind hiding the gun. After some discussion between my friend and the man the man gives him the wallet, but then gives him a knee in the gut so he falls on the ground. I panick and start to fell really weird. I pull up the gun but the man either doesn’t noice or doesn’t care. He kicks my frind in the back of the head and then starts moving towards me in a fast pace. I really start to panick and barely manage to squeeze the trigger. The man falls down and it appears that I just shot him in the lower left leg or knee.
I’ve had my knee kicked out of position once so I pray for the man that I didn’t hit the knee. My friend gets up and starts screaming “let’s get out of here!” while I’m busy walking up to the man and leaning over in a drunk sorta way to make sure I missed the knee. I can’t really decide so I try to pull up his pantleg and then he really starts to scream. I become even more frightened and scream sorry over and over and then I run away with my pal. We threw the gun in the river the next week.
I think I did hit that man in the knee and I feel awful. Just because my friend and I were high and stupid he has to cope with one working leg and pain for the rest of his life. I’ve actually started crying sometimes when I think about it and I’m alone.

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