• 6 years ago
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PLEASE! I NEED ADVICE! Please help.

I cheated on my wife with my daughter’s 19yo friend. She woke me up in the morning last Thursday and already had me hard. She was sucking on my ear and had me in her hand with her leg over me. She was almost completely naked and took me by surprise. I Don’t know what the f*** I was thinking, but my primal instincts took over and I went crazy on her. I hadn’t had s** for two months before that and I don’t remember ever doing it like that before in my life. It was almost predatory.

Even though my s** life is damn near nonexistent now, I am married and have a beautiful daughter who will graduate this year and go to college. WTF was I thinking!

1: First and foremost, I am married, am 35 years old, and have a daughter her age.
2: I thought she had a boyfriend.
3: WTF.
4: I think my daughter found out somehow because they are acting differently towards each other, and she’s been really short with me. (My daughter).

What should I do. Ever since that happened she’s been coming over whenever she feels like it, and doesn’t bother to knock. She acts like she owns the place, and I’m too ashamed to say anything about it. When my wife and daughter aren’t around she constantly reminds me of what we did by showing me her underwear and touching me inappropriately. She has been becoming bolder, just walking right up to me and kissing me like she doesn’t even care. I know she’s probably going to try it again somehow, and if she tries to seduce me again, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop her for a few reasons. I’m afraid she’ll tell if I don’t, and what the f*** does it matter now anyway, I’ve already done it. If my wife knows she hasn’t said anything about it. But I worry that she’s gonna find out. This girl has no boundaries and is getting bolder every day of the week. Wearing skimpier clothes, and doing more to tease me, testing how much she can get away with.

Also, her father is a longtime friend of mine, we’ve know each other for years, and I don’t want him to know either. I know he raised her differently, so what the f***. Sometimes she even tries to take over the house. Like the other evening my daughter wanted to watch something on TV, and she (her friend) didn’t. She basically manipulated me into making them watch what she wanted to. My daughter went to her room and looked at me like WTF, and was almost crying. I couldn’t even go talk to her, because what was I gonna say. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but I can’t say no to your s*** friend because she has blackmail on me.”

I am loosing control of my life over this girl, and don’t know what to do.

5: I love my wife, and feel like s*** over this. What the flying f*** was I thinking?
6: I just remembered there was no condom, and I ended up c****** inside her (she was on top). WTF. FML.
7. Why is my daughter hanging around with a girl like that? Not that I can say anything now, because I lost my right to be an example.
8. I don’t f****** know what to put here, but I feel like I should. I don’t want to lose my wife, or my daughter over this ridiculous s***.

Please help me someone. Anyone. What should I do? I feel like I’m already in too deep to save myself now, but I still love my family more than anything. I don’t want them to find out about what I did. I’m afraid they will think less of me.

All Comments

  • Look, what you did was wrong, but she got on you first. She should know better. This isn’t your fault okay? Sit yourself down with your wife and tell her first. It’s vital you do. Tell her calmly and and don’t lash out at her if she gets angry, because if you got into her shoes you’d feel very betrayed.
    When you’re telling her be very detailed about what she did (making you hard while you were asleep which is really messed up in itself, how she’s been manipulating you, and about anything else you might want to add) and then say that you’re sorry. Say it sincerely.

    Now, about the actual girl in question, it really is a tough position. If she’s acting all uppity like that after making love to you it’s because she has something else planned. Maybe she made that blackmail because she’s going to use your daughter in something. Maybe she’s thinking of getting some money out of you. The possibilities are endless with manipulative people like this. Honestly, the only way I can see this working out correctly if you apologize to everyone before she gets to whatever her endgame is. It’ll be hard to do so but the bravest act of all is to be honest.

    I wish you the best of luck OP.

    Anonymous February 13, 2018 6:14 pm Reply
  • Thanks. I really want the courage to do that. I hope I can get it. It’s been what I want to do since day 1. I just haven’t had the strength. I don’t want my wife and daughter to lose faith in me. If that happened to your spouse, how would you react to him? You are absolutely right that I have betrayed her. But if I could erase it all I would.

    Anonymous February 13, 2018 6:40 pm Reply
  • Maybe you could try ignoring the girl. I know it sounds dumb, but it seems that what’s she’s doing is just trying to get your attention. So full on ignore her.

    If that happened to my spouse, I’d wouldn’t really feel betrayed, I’d feel super pissed towards the girl. But maybe that’s just me.

    Yeah, getting the courage to do something as big as that must be super hard. The only way I can think that maybe you could up and get the courage to is to start talking without looking at how the other person reacts. However, that’s only when I need to confess to something small. I usually get courage to do stuff by going on the internet and seeing what other people have done in that situation since our experiences aren’t usually new. I’d recommend you make a throw account on reddit if you really want expert help on that stuff. They can be very helpful when you post it in the right subreddit.
    It’s not the best idea, I know, but it’s the only one I can give you since I’m no expert.

    Anonymous February 13, 2018 8:20 pm Reply
  • Thank you 3. I think I have decided what I’m gonna do, but I’m still having anxiety about it. My wife and I are both Christians (even though you probably couldn’t tell by all the vulgarity in my OP, I don’t normally talk like that though) so I was thinking of confiding in our pastor first, since he’s also a counselor, then asking him to be present with me when I confess this to my wife. I really hope she still loves me after this. But I can’t keep it from her. She deserves to know the truth, and I refuse to let this girl ruin our lives together. I love my wife and daughter more than anything else on this little planet, and that will never change. I just hope that’s enough to save our marriage. Please don’t go anywhere though, whoever you are 3. Because I might need to come back on here later on to report. If things don’t go very well, or do. I just like having this resource, and you have been really nice to me considering things. I posted this on another site too asking for help, and got some really rude comments. Thank you for your kindness number 3.

    Anonymous February 14, 2018 2:50 am Reply

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