I have no feelings for my boyfriend of (x) years anymore, I’ve come to realize that we truly don’t have anything in common, the way he wants to raise his kids especially worries me. I’ve told him I don’t mind his lax parenting style he wants but I know if we did that our kids would turn out terrible or we’d end up in divorce. I just don’t know how to tell him this, he’s emotionally draining to talk to and very self centered.He also seems to be stuck in the high school relationship personality, very immature and just wanting s**. It’s hard because I still love him very much, but I know I can’t marry him. I just can’t bring myself to do it (breakup) because I don’t want to hurt him, but this has really brought my mental health down, I can barley sleep and I seem to be eating more. I just seem to be circling in my own anxiety in my head. We just aren’t good for each other. I hope that when we do (breakup) I might be able to come back and patch things up after we’ve had our separation, maybe he’ll change after we do(breakup) though I know this is wishful thinking. I hate myself for letting this relationship drag on as long as it has because now, The hurt and pain it (breaking up) will cause will be huge. I do know that when I decide to do it, I won’t date anyone else, having a relationship while going to school is harder than it sounds. I’ll just focus on my schooling and myself, because I’ve definitely sacrificed a lot of my personality for this relationship. I just feel terrible that he is in the dark but I just want him to be in ignorant bliss for a bit longer, he deserves happiness but I just can’t be that for him right now in this stage of my life. I know I’m selfish but there are some things in the relationship that just hold me back from “pulling the trigger” but I’m just unhappy in our relationship at the same time.
