• 7 years ago
  • 204 Views

I’m obsessive. I’m obsessive about nearly everything but it’s mostly centered around people and works of fiction. And I’ve been told it’s cute, but it’s not, it’s f****** terrifying (people usually learn that pretty quickly). I can’t be my entire self because if I even dare to act on any of my feelings I’m immediately alienated by who I opened up to. My latest victim told me they thought my obsessive nature was really cute and they’d wanted someone to obsess over them. I thought I had found someone who could understand. But no, because as soon as I started wanting to be closer. I wanted to be with them all the time and I wanted them to talk to me all the time. I wanted to play with their hair and cuddle as we talked about things. I wanted to know everything about them. But they realized I’m creepy, and I know this is terrible and I need help. I’m so toxic and I don’t want to be….I’m just scared of being alone and I have a hard time controlling myself. As soon as I know I’m starting to scare someone I force myself to back off. I don’t want to be like this, I hate myself because of it and I want to move somewhere quiet in the middle of nowhere with no one to bother me but the birds and raccoons.

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