we live in a totally old-fashioned place where hanging out with the other s** is still not completely approved.and having a boyfriend, like i do, is probably an out-and-out crime. i don’t like the way we need to hide, and find dark corners even for an innocent hug. and if anyone finds us together in a corner they will assume the worst. they do it to everyone,even random people hanging out with each other after class, the girls are labeled as flirts, sluts, whatever. i’ve always been a straight-A’s student, and i’ve never done anything beyond the limits of modesty, nor do i intend to, but the fact that i need to be labeled as something like just to be capable of loving someone. it poisons the entire feeling. it’s like we’re doing something dirty. i don’t want it to feel that way, but he doesnt seem to mind so much. i wish there was some way to fix it. he’s head over heels in love with me (i bet it’s only an infatuation, but still) and i dont think i deserve that much. i cant reciprocate that much. i wish i knew what to do.
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bottom line: physical stuff don’t make up the entire relationship. if it’s only the “touching” or “being alone with a guy” things that are gonna get you labeled, then simply avoid them cause they seem to let you down alot. try hanging out in groups, get involved in other activities, group studying/projects, invite a group of friends over to your house.. or just keep it in your pants until both of you are married/engaged or something.
I hate communities like that and how mostly they stem from traditionalists or overly-religious people. But you have to do what you have to do. Are you going to let this community stop you from being with a person? Of course not. What you do with your partner should be between you, and should not be under the watch of the entire world. Good luck with whatever you do. Just don’t give in.
T.A.
The society we live in is quite sad. Of course it has its benefits because it keeps values and morals intact. And yes, somehow it helps protect the image of a woman. But it doesn’t mean you should sacrifice a hug for what people think. I think you should be able to hold your partner’s hand without being ostracized. And sharing a kiss is a beautiful thing. You can do it without hiding in dark corners. Have a group of friends that match your way of thinking, and always meet up in groups at each others homes. It’s safe to do what you want in the vicinity of your friends. However, if you feel that this will highly jeopardize your safety or your families respect of you, then try to keep it on the down low. It’s the bad enough to be ostracized by society, but worse if its by family. And no matter what, it always gets better. 🙂
Lilith