I’ve been focused on my Dreams ever since I was young. Never had a relationship whatsoever. Now that I’m close to reaching my dream my mind is full of knowledge but my heart is empty. The first time I saw my first love I was attracted that instant. I had to look away due to my surprise. He was looking at someone else but I was looking at him. 3 months have passed since that event and I’ve failed my licensure exam I was almost heart broken. But I heared from someone that even though you are successful in life it wasn’t just flower trails and clear sky for you. Like me you had to make an extra effort just to be average.You served as an inspiration and made me hold unto your hand until the pain goes away.
It’s been 8 months now since I’ve liked him. Today I came home late since I was studying at a coffee shop I was sore and tired and almost fell down due to my lack of energy . i closed my eyes and saw his smile and without realizing it I was smiling too and at that instant I knew if he were here beside me his smile could make feel safe and comfortable.
My confession to my first love. I may not be able to say it in real life and we might never meet. I’ll pray for your happiness and I’ll wish that to whoever God has assigned to be your other half that she might be able to understand you and that she will know the pain behind your smiles. Even though I want you to be beside me I know it won’t happen. Even though I miss you so so so much that it brought tears to my eyes and made my heart ache everynight. I smile at the thought of how great you would be as a father, a husband a friend. I grabbed my tear stained blanket brought it closer to my chest close my eyes and end my prayer with a though that tomorrow I will still love you even if you aren’t mine. I’ll always be that girl in the background that you could never see.
